Birthdays for boys and a diagnosis

Well, we officially have an 8 year old boy in the house and for his party this past weekend 2 of his closest buddies came over for a sleepover complete with mini-golf, nerf gun target practice, a late night movie, pizza and cake and a pancake breakfast to boot.  Wow.  I felt like I needed the next couple of days to recover from all that!  The decorations were kept pretty simple- just some balloons, streamers and paper airplanes hung over the table.  A couple of old trophies made for a fun centerpiece.  I did end up putting a 'Darth Vader' Birthday Candle on the cake so it was a little more appealing to the boys.  Anyways, it was fun and wild and sometimes crazy but that's how it goes with boys this age.

Yesterday we had our meeting with the school psychologist who actually did do some diagnosing.  I'm still trying to process some of the results- more the labels and associations that come with the diagnosis.  It seems that Johnny has some form of ADD and dislexia that are inhibiting his ability to learn to read and write as smoothly and quickly as other kids.  Both diagnosis were kind of a surprise to me. Johnny has never mixed up letters and he can read and write, albeit slowly and below his level.  So there is a program he might do for 10 weeks in fall to re-learn how to read and write geared for kids with mild dislexia. 
I think what surprised me more was the whole ADD diagnosis.  I sat down to do some research yesterday and frankly, it's hard not to see every boy Johnny's age as being somewhat ADD.   Knowing that about 7 of Johnny's classmates have undergone a similar psychological assessments this year makes me a little frustrated that we aren't looking at the process of teaching kids as opposed to simply trying to medicate and diagnose our kids into being good students. ADD or ADHD seems to be a catch-all phrase for kids who have a lot of energy and a low attention span.  Perhaps it's not just our kids who have the 'problem', perhaps some of the issues have to do with educators and parents who haven't completely learned how best to motivate these kids to learn and cope with life at their optimum.
With that in mind, I can see that there are a few strategies that I can work on personally as a parent to make life a little smoother for both Johnny and us as parents.  Some of those parenting tips I found here, some more I found here- both sites and the video being advocates for the concept of 'positive parenting'.  Essentially, the idea behind positive parenting is to learn how to avoid conflicts/power struggles with your child while trying to teach them how to make positive choices.  For me it will mean being more intentional about how I relate to my boys and not trying to rush over the parenting tasks that I do every day.  Also making sure that we have a more consistent schedule, complete with lots of meals/snacks, good sleeping habits and lots of physical activity will be on the agenda.  Good thing I bought some new running shoes on the weekend- I have a feeling I'll be playing a lot more soccer and going for more hikes and runs throughout the summer...

My week with the boys

Well, Dean is back and my stint of single parenting is over until July!  It's amazing how having him around in the morning makes all the difference in getting these boys out the door. When I'm trying to get them off to school I feel as though I am a broken record saying 'please get dressed. or get your shoes and socks on. or where is your back pack?' several times over.  Yesterday I finally made a list for my oldest son to follow with all the steps written out (why hadn't I thought of this sooner?) and he managed to complete all the tasks on his own.  I think that will be my strategy from now on, so much easier on my patience level. 
When I had young toddlers I thought that once the boys got into school things would get so much easier for me as a parent.  I don't think that any more.  It's been a challenging year with my oldest in school.  His ability to retain information in school has been quite slow and he was recommended to the school learning psychologist to sort out why he is having trouble retaining/retrieving information.  After filling out 2 long surveys about my son's behavior, I started to wonder what kind of issues he has that will affect his time in school and in life from here on in.  We meet with the psychologist next week to find out what the results from all these tests will be.  
The one thing I've thought about in all this is that I really need to step it up in terms of finding an outlet that my son is really good at so that school doesn't feel so painful.  He is amazing at sports, and I've really hesitated to want to put him in organized sports because of the time commitment and over-scheduling that I resist against.  I can't stand the thought of driving my kid around from soccer to baseball practice, eating fast food in the car because we don't have time to sit down and have a proper meal.  I also don't like the thought of our kids being so over-scheduled that they don't have time for 'free play'.  Like the photo above, where the boys took a whole Saturday to find boxes and build themselves a fort on the drive way.  If we had soccer practice and swimming lessons on Saturdays, that wouldn't have happened.  As I think about this next school year, I'm already thinking about how to sort out this dilemma- the innate talent I see in my son for all things sports-like and my resistance to want to sign the whole family up for all the practices and games that organized sports requires one to commit to.  Well, I have the summer to think about it and hopefully in the end I won't have any guilty feelings either way...

Keepin it real...

Life here at the real Dahl house has been a little crazy as of late, I must admit. I won't go into long lists of what we all have to manage each week to keep these active boys fed, to school on time, picked up, to swimming lessons and kids clubs, to clean clothed while also trying to keep on top of everything that needs doing at the studio... I will just elaborate on some of the unfortunate news I received from my son's teacher regarding how behind he is as a student this past week.
I will admit that I was surprised to learn that my son's reading level puts him back to the beginning of grade 1 when he is in grade 2. Same teacher as last year. No big warning signs on his report card last year- yes he has been in Learning Assistance for reading, but really, back to grade 1?
So I've been asking around about what best to do, what to look out for in the way of learning lapses or problems, sorting out what his learning style might be, and generally trying to keep him happy about school these days. It's not easy- again tonight he asked if he could quit school. Quit school? In grade 2? Yikes, we've got 11 more years of this school thing- somehow we've all got to make it through.
My research has led me here if you are interested in more on boys and literacy...